Is that Really Me?

Written on the 22 July 2014 by Markku Kauppinen, Extended DISC North America

One of the best parts about my professional life is that I have the opportunity to work with so many talented and successful individuals. Many also happen to be our clients. They are people who are very passionate about their work and have a genuine interest in helping other people to achieve their goals and become more successful in their professional and personal lives. While these individuals come from different educational and industry backgrounds, all of them share one common denominator: they are all very self-aware. Not only that, all of them have taken a very honest and candid look at themselves and are comfortable with their strengths and weaknesses.

Typically, they also have a healthy sense of humor about who they are. They do not take themselves too seriously and rarely use their own behavioral style as an excuse for bad conduct.

Perhaps you too have noticed that truly successful people are always keenly self-aware and have accepted who they are. It sounds simple but can be quite difficult to do. Making peace with who we really are is not easy.

Not very long ago, I was talking with an executive coach, Jim, who shared his recent experience with one of his clients. He had been asked by the CEO of a very large privately-held company to work with one of the key executives. His client, let’s call her Susan, was performing well, but both she and the CEO wanted to further improve her performance. In other words, the executive coach had a willing and motivated client and not a hostage who did not want to change.

Jim asked Susan to complete the Extended DISC self-assessment to establish a starting point for his coaching. Susan was both excited and curious to see the results.

If you have ever received your Extended DISC report, you know the results are designed to stimulate your thinking. It focuses on who you really are and in the process uncovers possible blind spots that may be holding you back. In our view if an assessment report only provides information the person already knows (and, therefore, easily agrees with) it offers very limited value. Although the report may be interesting and even entertaining, it is unlikely to impact any real behavioral change.

Jim has a standard practice to have his clients read the assessment report for the first time in his presence. He believes observing the body language of his clients as they read the reports reveals valuable information. Susan was no exception.

Jim noticed that Susan openly accepted the strengths identified in the report. She was nodding and smiling as she read about them. However, when she began to review the sections about her development areas, Susan’s reaction was very different. Her smile disappeared and was replaced with a slight frown.

“I am not sure if some of this is accurate”, she said. “Jim, do you think these statements sound like me?”
“What do you mean?” Jim asked.

“It says here that I am not aggressive enough. I think I am pretty aggressive. I go after my goals. I know you do not know me that well yet, Jim, but don’t you think I am pretty aggressive? Also, I think I am pretty detailed-oriented. I have learned from my mistakes and really try to get better at taking care of details...not that I LIKE details, they usually drive me crazy!” Susan said laughing out loud.

“I see....” Jim replied.

“Do you think some of my colleagues may find me too aggressive? I really do not want to come across that way...I want to focus on my goals, but it is important to work toward the goals together. It is more fun that way too, don’t you think? I remember working for this one guy years ago. He was a real jerk. The only thing he was focused on was his own goals. Everything was about him, him, him. I could not stand that guy....”